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Resolved Question: how to deal with flashback of bad mentally traumatic experience about this girl haunting me?

i am a guy, 27. A girl in my med school batch was friends with me initially . but started behaving very rude/impolite after a few months.. whenever i would ask her the reason she would in a rude low tone say…. “theres nothing like that”.. and say a rude low pitched “hi” whenever i said hi.. now this went on for around 4-5 months..but she would keep sending very sweet SMSs sayings and quotes which she d send to entire class .. i found that wierd.. when you d not comfortable talking to a person then why send such sweet SMSs.. i was wondering why she is doing so .. i even ask reason again.. she would say “nothing” and run away.. .. this behaviour hurt me even more.. after 6 months.. i decided to not have any conversatons wiht her and just say “hi” “hello” … but then she noticed that. and one day she had a sweet conversation with me pretending nothings wrong..and i just gave in talking nicely believing she is right. in a way she believed.. things are back fine again.. well i was hurt by her behaviour because she would talk nicely with all of the batch except me. and she was popular, topper girl with “whote as snow” image .. extremely wise and “alway correct” kindof image… she also was street smart. i am a soft spoken and bit timid too… after she spke nicely with me after around 7 months.. i dunno why i started feeling as if something is wrong with me.. but now when i look back.. i see that i never asked for an explanation for being rude to me alone in the entire batch.. now after 3 years after my med school .. i feel pained and disgraced.. hurt to see me bending on my knees and trying to talk .. be nice to her to sort out the issue even when she was rude .. i feel even more degraded that how i gave up my stand easily when she had one nice conversation with me.. as far as i remember i never had a argument wiht her. whan i ws rude.. sometimes when in mood to have have fun.. we just mess around.. disrturbing someone playing table tennis by distracting.. and all but that i thought was harmless fun i did with her.. i even said sorry a few days later wondering if that was the reason.. but when i look back.. i feel .. being rude for 3-4 month as revenge… wouldnt be the cause… i told her “sorry if i hurt you anytime” ona day.. but she .. just ran away from me… i feel like finding her on facebook and writing her about how i feel. but i havent spoken to her in last 4 years..also it would me look crazy i guess.. it is only memories of me degrading mself that haunt me… he happens to be successful, he parents big shots and yes… she has helped me get right contacts when my dad needed emergency medical help.. so i owe her big time.. but the mental pain also exists..

i get flashbacks.. which hurt me.. which tell me.. i should have been tough… kept my stand.. i didnt even let her realize she hurt me so much… she was seeig that her behaviour dissturbed me..but she didnt allow me speak that too.. as she would just runa way whenever i d try to say that…

these flashbacks haunt me.. beacuse i was in depression for those 6 months when she was rude.. i moved on .. but later i put my guard down so easily when she had just one nice convesation.. not putting it down would have made me express my feeling.. i feel that i shouldnt have taken behaviour from her is she cannot tell me why is she was doing so..

what do i do now?????? these flashbacks still haunt me..

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